My inlaws have been at my house since last Saturday afternoon, they are leaving tomorrow,yay! No don't get me wrong I love them and all but I hate having people in my home much at all and a week is just ridiculous. Today i told my daughter the when she grew up and had a family I wouldn't come stay with her I would get a motel room so that she and her family could have a minutes rest each night. she spouted off....YAY!!!!!
let me tell you how this all began.....
Back in April my red hot smokin wife (Talledega nights, go see it so you will get it) recieved a phone call from her mom. Said mom asked if we would like to have her piano as her brother had bit the old dirt turd and she had gotten his Steinway baby grand piano and therefore had no room for her old upright. A tear comes to my eye when I think about my mother in law butchering hymms and other sanctified songs on this beautiful instrument but I digress..... No it really is sad, I can just imagine old Steinway himself rolling over in his shroud of croaking and beggin her to please stop. pllleeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee........
On with the show as they say... So my red hot smokin wife put her hand over the mouthpeice fo the phone, why is it that everybody does that and everybody knows it doesn't work, and asks if we would like the old upright, to which I reply sure, why not. Now I am not a huge piano fan but I thought, what the heck maybe the girls and I can learn to play a little better and after all the damn thing was free so what the heck. The wifey gets back on the phone and says sure we would love the piano at which time the evil witch of the west rears her head and says, "great but we aren't giving it to you we need to get one thousand dollars for it."
What the heck? She just inherited a piano worth maybe 25k and she wants us to buy her old handmedown. You have got to be jokin! Well after i bitched about it she agreed to let us, out of the goodness of her heart, make payments on the damn thing starting in January. Oh lucky day, oh yeah we "owed" her some other money from like 12 years ago and she said she would also apply the payments to that. When asked how much we owed she said $3535.57, including the piano, but out of the goodness of her heart and the genorosity bestowed upon her by God she did say she would forgive the .57 damn cents which made my day let me tell you. I mean that might have broken the bank right there, I mean .57 cents whoo hoo hoo how freakin nice of the old bag of punch.
So anyway, here they are staying at my house eating my food while i finance their vacation with my piano money and that stinkin .57 cents which i ought to give them before they leave just to show I mean to pay back all the money I ever owed them. Hey wait a minute I think I paid for my own wedding and they only rented the wife a dress hmmm maybe they should pay me for that and then i could pay them back. I think with interest it come out to be around oh lets see divide by 12 and carry the 2.....23496.75 but out of respect for my mother in law I would be willing to forgive her the .75 cents.
Oh well I am off to the store to buy something for them to eat for breakfast. hope they like tofu and turds!!!!!!
5 comments:
Hmmm, sounds like you got ripped off. Hotel and food would have cost them at least 800 bucks for a week. Plus the mental "cost" to your family, which is difficult to put a price on. They probably don't realize they ate better at your place than they would have at any restaurant too!
Tofu and turd!!! LMAO! I can not believe they are making you make payments from something they inherited. Sheesh, that is crazy. I can see if you weren't family but geez...that is kinda mean.
Yep and I told the wife we could always sell it but i was informed that it was a family heirloom and her mother didn't give it to us to sell. I said give, we bought the cottonpicker I will sell it if I want to.
Lord, you better listen to me on this one. I know she's a b***h, but I'm still not selling the piano. Doesn't hurt that our oldest "angel" seems to have a gift for it. Now be nice!!
Oh, my, where is Dr. Phil when you need him? He'd love to put her into the Dr. Phil House for a month or two. What drama would ensue!
Mrs. Lord, you stand firm. Let the little angels make music.
Mr. Lord, you used to be quite the piano student yourself, once upon a time. It's never too late to go on with the lessons.
Also, Mr. Lord, there is a most excellent book that explains a lot about this type of person. It's called "The People of the Lie," and I recommend you don't get stymied by the firt few clinical chapters as it gets really interesting later on. I read it years ago and have never forgotten the case studies in that book. It's scary that there are actual "people of the lie" out there. Some may be too close for comfort.
And now that you've bought yourselves a piano, just think, it's NOT HERS anymore!! Neener. Enjoy it!
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